Hi, I'm Adrian. I just want to open up. I know a lot of guys have a hard time telling the truth when it comes to commitment—especially if your girlfriend is the one who's excited about getting married.
I want it too. Actually, I've been imagining for a long time how she'll walk down the aisle, wearing a simple white dress, and how I'll look at her like I'm the luckiest person in the world.
But the truth is? I'm not really ready. Not because of commitment. Not because of doubt. But because of lack.
We still don't have enough savings. I know that no matter how simple the wedding is, there are still expenses. There are fees for the venue, for legal papers, for food—even if it's just an intimate affair. And my worry is, what will happen to us after the wedding? If we were to spend all our savings in one day, what will we start as a couple?
I told my girlfriend this. But the pain—it's like she didn't understand me. She said she felt like I was just trying to avoid her. It's hard to hear that I'm just making excuses, when all I want is to make sure we don't start out in trouble.
He wants to get married first before moving in together. I get it. I respect that. I'm also not in favor of just getting together without a clear commitment. So I said, maybe we can have a civil wedding first. Simple, legal, but not a pain in the pocket. As long as we're together, that's enough.
I also told her, if she really wants a celebration, we can plan it in the future. When we can afford it. The celebration is better when we don't have to worry about how to pay tomorrow.
It's not easy to understand. Especially when one of you is excited, while the other is cautious. But I want to fight for him. Not because I'm afraid of losing him, but because I know he's the one. I just don't want to start our married life with problems.
So here I am now, trying to explain:
Not because I'm not sure.
Not because I don't love him.
But because I want to prepare for the future for both of us.
Sometimes, “no” doesn’t mean “I don’t.”
Sometimes, love isn’t just measured by how fast it happens, but how much thought goes into it.
I hope one day, he understands that I'm not making excuses. I'm just saving up energy, money, and a plan. So that when that day comes, there will be no more 'buts.' Nothing is missing.
Whole. Ready. And happy.
