Just call me Kitty. I'm nineteen years old, the only child of a single mom. My mother is still young—well, she's only 34 now. People often think we're just siblings when we're out together.
I won't deny it—our life isn't ideal. Mom works as a sexy dancer in a club. Sometimes I envy my other friends whose moms are in the office, wearing blazers, or teaching at school. But this is our reality, and I try to understand it because I know she does it so she can feed me and provide for everything I need.
When I stopped studying, I chose to focus on online selling. I found a way to make a decent living from home. To be fair, my small business also grew so I was able to stand on my own two feet at least.
In the midst of all this, I had a boyfriend at the time—Carlo. He was older than me, he was 25. At first, everything was okay. As I said, it's good that I have someone to support me, someone to dream with. But little did I know, while I was taking care of the orders and deliveries, he and Mama were also taking care of something else.
It hurt. I didn't immediately believe it when someone told me. Until I saw it with my own eyes. My mom and my boyfriend—holding each other's arms, talking as if no one else was around. That's when I felt like my strength was taken away from me. I can't explain which was heavier: his betrayal or the fact that my mom was with him.
Because I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to leave home. I rented a small room—just enough for me and my belongings. I didn't tell Mom right away where I was moving. I wanted to be alone, think, and breathe deeply. But despite everything, she was still my mom. Even though I was angry, I couldn't shake the love I had for her.
To this day, I don't know how to deal with her. How can you understand someone you're so good at but who also hurt you first? I'm annoyed but I also understand why she's looking for love. Maybe we're both missing something in life—her, as a woman, and me, as a child who's not used to having someone competing for her attention.
But I also know it's not right. It's not right that he and my ex are together. It's not right that I'm going back to a house where I'll see both of them. I don't know if Carlo and I will ever go back to the way we used to be, but I know in myself that I need to let him go for good.
Maybe one day, Mom and I will have a proper conversation. Not to scold her or force her to change, but just to let all this weight out. I don't want to live in anger. I want to go back to the point where I can hug her and say, “It's okay, I understand you somehow.” But not yet.
For now, I'm just learning to rebuild myself. Maybe one day, I'll be able to forgive him completely. But that doesn't mean Carlo will come back into my life. There are people who are only meant to be remembered.
