I wrote because I just wanted to vent my frustrations about my boyfriend “feeling pogi.” At first, I was still happy with his confidence. He's not shy, always has energy, and knows how to carry himself in any situation. It makes me proud to think that he's my boyfriend.
But as time goes by, it seems like things are changing. Before, it was fun to take selfies from time to time. Now, it's like he's his own photoshoot director every day. He takes pictures from all angles—on the street, in the car, in a restaurant. Even just walking to the store, he's in great shape. It's like he's thinking about nothing else but how handsome he is.
It's not that I want to stop him, but it's tiring sometimes. Especially when he shows off to other women. I don't know if he's just friendly or really wants attention. There are times when I'm with him, then suddenly he'll joke or tease another woman as if he wants to flirt. He says, "That's just natural, I'm friendly," but to me, it was different.
I tried talking to him. I said, I'm not stopping him from being happy or making friends. But I hope there's a limit. Because when it gets too much, it's like he doesn't care if he's hurting someone. The hard part is, when I do pay attention, I'm the one who seems jealous or insecure.
Sometimes I think, maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. But every time I go home, I still feel the weight. Maybe it's not enough that in a relationship, you're always doubting and hurting.
I want him to understand that it's not about being controlling or jealous. I just want respect. When you have a partner, I hope you take care of their feelings too. You can't be the only one happy and content while the other person's self-confidence is plummeting.
I don't know what to do next. Maybe I'll talk to him again calmly. But if nothing really changes, maybe I need to ask myself: "Is this really the relationship I want to keep?"
Right now, I'm trying to weigh whether my love for him is more important than my peace of mind. Maybe one day the answer will be clear.
