Like many newlyweds who are just starting out on their own, we didn't have enough savings to rent or buy a house. So we lived at my mother-in-law's house for the time being.
At first, I thought they were really open to letting us stay there. They were always nice to us—they always had food ready and didn't make us feel like we were different. So I felt comfortable, I felt like it was our home.
Because of that, I kind of overlooked the limits. Once, I invited my officemates to have fun there after work. It didn't just happen once—we sang, laughed, and yes, drank a few nights.
I thought, there must be nothing wrong because every morning, my mother-in-law greets me. I didn't notice that she was gradually becoming irritated. Until one night, while everyone was happily chatting, she suddenly left the room, clearly very angry.
He screamed and expressed all his resentment—saying we were too noisy, that we were disrespectful in his house, and most of all, that I was abusing their kindness.
I felt embarrassed. It felt like something was stuck in my throat. My officemates just fell silent and left immediately. I was left speechless in the middle of the living room, not knowing what to say or do.
When my husband came home, I cried a lot. I told him everything. He didn't get angry—he hugged me calmly. He talked to his dad the next day. But even if they somehow managed to fix it, I felt like I wouldn't be treated the same way there.
I decided to stay at my parents' house for now. I begged my husband to let me stay there. Even though I didn't hear a bad word from him, I felt like I was broken. Not only because I was embarrassed, but because that was the first time I felt that my mother-in-law didn't fully accept me.
But as the days passed, I also realized that there was something really wrong with what I did. I admit it—I didn't consider their space. I also didn't consider that they might be tired and want a quiet night.
Now, my heart is calmer. I really plan to go back there and apologize properly. Not to come back and live with you, but to show that I know how to admit my mistakes.
Honestly, it's hard to get along, especially when you're family. There are many things that need to be adjusted, many times you have to be humble. But I've also learned that in any relationship—whether family or not—respecting the boundaries of others is one of the most important things.
And if you ever have a family in the future, it might be a good idea to save up for your own place. It's always nice to have your own place, without having to think about or worry about anything else. This way, respect can be maintained and misunderstandings can be avoided.
In the end, I learned that sometimes, it's not enough to just be grateful. You also need to know how to empathize and empathize, especially if you're the one living with someone.
