The truth is, I don't even know where to start. I'm 27 years old and I have a partner who is also 27 years old. I thought we were okay, I thought our relationship was happy and complete. But suddenly I found out that he had another woman. It wasn't just a fling or a trip—he was in love with that woman. And here's the worst part: I'm pregnant now.
There's so much weight on my chest. I feel like I'm collapsing. It's like all my plans for life, all my dreams for our family, have suddenly disappeared. I don't know where to start, where to go, or how to rebuild myself. All I can do now is breathe and be strong for the baby in my belly.
In my family, only one knows what happened. On his side, everyone knows and fortunately they don't tolerate what he did. But even so, I still feel fear and apprehension. I want to break up, but I don't know how to start. I would like to save up first before completely letting go, because I always think about my child's future.
My partner and I talked. We said, we'll wait for the child to come out and then we'll see if there's still a chance to fix it. But the longer it goes on, the more I regret. Because every time I think about him loving another woman, the more I get hurt. I want to leave, I want to get away. But I'm scared. What about my child? Will I be able to raise him alone? Do I have the strength to be mom and dad at the same time?
My friends tell me to leave him. They say I'm going to get a divorce. I understand their point, and maybe they're right. But I always think—what about my child? I want to fight for him, I want him to have a good life. But what if I give in? What if I lose my strength?
Now, I'm so scared that when I give birth, I'll be completely madepress. I'm afraid I'll lose my appetite, and no one will take care of my baby. I cry every time I think about not having enough strength to deal with all this.
So here I am, writing this confession. Not to beg for mercy, but to hopefully get sound advice. I don't know how to start over, but all I know is: I want to be strong for my child. No matter how painful, no matter how difficult, I hope I can make it.
