The truth is, I'm really struggling with the body shaming that my boyfriend's mother is doing to me. I'm Yna, 24 years old, and I have a boyfriend who I've been in a relationship with for 3 years. We're doing well and are happy, but I don't know if his family—especially his mother and sister—accepts me.
Her sister is thin, fair, and tall. She hardly eats meat or oily food, only vegetables and fish. Because of that, her waistline is small and she is always sent to school pageants. She also takes great care of her skin, using all kinds of soaps and lotions. That's why she seems to be the standard of beauty for their family.
Every time I'm at my boyfriend's house, I can't escape his mom's comments. She says I've gained weight, I have belly fat and pimples, and I'm not pretty because I'm not white and I don't have a pointed nose. She even asks why I look black now. My height is 5’6” and my weight is 57kg—my BMI is normal! Yes, I have a little belly fat, but not too much. I am a morena, I don't use gluta—I only use sunscreen and Silka lotion.
Actually, I'm not ugly. There were a lot of people who liked me before, and my boyfriend himself saw that I was pretty. But whenever I was at their house, they seemed to look down on people like me, a brunette with baby fats. For them, sexy was someone who was extremely skinny. That's where it gradually hit me—my self-esteem was going down.
I didn't want to go to their house when their mom and sister were there because I was so insecure. I really wanted to avoid them because I couldn't stand the constant judgment. But because I love my boyfriend, I endured it. I didn't want to get to the point where we would fight just because of this. I went to the gym, although not regularly because I was busy with work. Even when I asked my boyfriend if I was fat, he always said no, and our friends even said that I was sexy.
But I can't hide it—I'm hurting. I'm so affected by his mom's words. It feels like no matter what I do, I won't be enough for them. I don't know how to deal with this: should I continue to suffer because of my love for my boyfriend, or should I distance myself so that I don't ruin my self-esteem.
