My name is 36F and I have a partner 31M. We have been together for 5 years. Before we met, he had a long-term girlfriend. I met him abroad, and it was almost a year before I got pregnant, so I returned to the Philippines. There he left his ex for good, but I also found out that he was still creating another account so that he could chat with his ex when he was at work. But I chose to trust him, because I believed that he loved me.
Years passed, we got along well. But I admit, there were times when I was weak. I have two accounts, and sometimes I chat with my ex. Not always, but when we talked, it was like a simple hello. Until the day I sent a picture of me in a towel. It wasn't completely obscene, but I still knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn't have done that because I already had a partner.
One day, my ex messaged me again. He asked, “How are you?” I just replied with a simple reply. But suddenly he threatened me. He said, “What if your partner finds out that you’re still talking to me?” That’s when I got nervous. Out of fear, I immediately blocked him. I thought that would be the end of it. But he created another account and contacted my partner’s family.
That's where my nightmare began. My partner's sister found out about everything and sent messages to my partner herself. My partner was so angry that he suddenly left me. He said he didn't want to talk anymore because he thought we were just like children who kept getting into trouble. He didn't want to listen to my explanations anymore.
It hurts so much. I love him so much, and yes, I made a mistake. Yes, I sent a photo that I shouldn't have. Yes, I even talked to my ex even though I no longer have feelings for him. But all of that, not because I no longer love my partner. The truth is, he is still my world, he is still my choice and he is still my love.
Until now, he hasn't answered me. He doesn't read my messages, he doesn't answer my calls either. It's like he doesn't care anymore. But I, I wait every day. I still hope that the day will come when he will give me a second chance.
I don't know if I should give up or keep fighting for him. Because no matter what others say, I love him and our family. I made a mistake, yes. But that doesn't mean I don't have the right to love him and fight for our relationship. I hope, at least for once, he can talk to me again. I hope, he will listen to me. I hope, he will give me a chance to prove that I can change and that I can be honest.
Right now, I carry the guilt and weight of what I did every day. But the feeling that I might lose her forever is even heavier. I love her so much. And as much as I can, I will fight for her.
