Sometimes, we really become blind to love. I'm Kia, just a simple girl who loves too much. I do everything for Joshua, my first boyfriend. He's sweet, caring, and sometimes very naughty. But one time, he had trouble in the fraternity. He just mentioned it to me, and then he disappeared for a few days. I panicked! When I knew he had a chance to get hurt, I approached their leader. In desperation, I agreed to the deal even though I didn't know if it was right to call it love. That night, I gave up something I never thought I'd give away like that—just to save him.
I thought I would be angry with myself the next day, but relief prevailed. Joshua is alive, he is safe, and he doesn't know what I did. Honestly, I didn't tell him either. What else? As long as the important thing is, he is still with me. Everything is back to normal—we go on dates, call each other until dawn, cuddle in the rainy season. But as time goes by, it feels like something is off. Especially when Julian, my best friend since high school, is with me. Before, they used to just mess around normally, but now... it feels like they are too close.
Of course, I don't want to think bad things right away. I thought maybe it was just me. But one time while I was walking through the mall, I saw them—together, laughing, seemingly oblivious to their surroundings. I felt like an extra in my own movie. I didn't confront them. I kept it a secret for now, maybe they were just planning a surprise. But on the night of our monthsary, while we were eating, Julian threw up out of nowhere. It was a bit of a shock, but what was even more shocking was when I heard on the CR: Julian is pregnant—and Joshua is the father.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. This is like a TV series! I wanted to walk out, but the waiter might think I was being dramatic. So I stood up, looked at the two of them, and just said, "Congratulations. You're so happy." The world fell silent. No excuses, no explanations. I didn't wait for anyone. I left. It was still raining. I felt like the star of a music video without an umbrella. But that's okay—sometimes you just need to get rained on to come to your senses.
While I was walking, a man I didn't know suddenly offered me an umbrella. He was quiet. I ignored him at first, but he just followed me until I got home. We didn't talk, but weirdly, I felt like someone else was willing to listen—even if he didn't know the whole story. It was like the first time I could breathe deeply again.
Since that night, I've learned one important thing: no matter how much you love someone, if they don't choose you every day, don't force yourself. I don't regret what I did for Joshua, but I learned to choose myself too. Sometimes, self-love is the very first thing to learn. And as the jeep pulled away on the way home, holding the umbrella left by the man I never saw again, I smiled. Maybe next time, I'll love smarter.
