The truth is, I'm confused about my current situation. I'm 33 years old, married but separated for 4 years, with two children that I'm taking care of. I've long accepted that my previous relationship is over, but in recent months someone has come back into my life—my high school ex.
He is 34 years old, single, and also an OFW. We just started talking again 4 months ago. And to be honest, I fell in love again quickly because I felt like the excitement from when we were in high school came back. It even got to the point where we said “I love you” to each other.
But the day came when I asked him directly: “What are we really like?” His answer to me was: “Let’s see how our communication flows, love. Who knows, we’ll end up together in the end.”
I'm a little stuck on that answer. It's not clear. Yes, there's love, there's communication, but it still doesn't seem like he's ready to give commitment. He also said it's better for us to gradually study the progress of our relationship so we don't both get hurt in the end.
That's when I started to think deeply. Does he really love me, or is he just afraid to tell the truth? Is it true that we have a future, or is it just a game for him? And what about me—am I ready to enter into a relationship with uncertainty again, especially since I have children in mind?
The question I ask myself now is: Should I continue in this relationship where I'm not sure where it's going? Or should I save myself now so I don't get hurt worse later?
Sometimes I think, maybe the connection and excitement I felt was enough, but maybe it wasn't enough to be a serious relationship. And honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared of repeating the same pain I went through before.
So here I am, confessing. I don't know if I should choose my heart or my mind. If I should give the person I once loved a chance, or if I should cut him off before the wound I could feel deepens.
