The truth is, I'm tired too. I'm in my early 30s and so is my husband. He's a seaman and I'm a stay-at-home mom. Most of his income goes to his allotment, paying his bills, and everyday expenses. We're not rich and we make sure our children have a good life. We have our own house so at least I'm satisfied.
But it's really hard sometimes because my husband is very moody. When I'm angry, he's even crazier. He doesn't know how to tolerate. So even when I'm the one who's hurt, I'm still the first to come to him and apologize. Sometimes, he can ignore me for a week. It's hard because he's my husband, but it always feels like I'm the one at fault.
My only dream is to have a happy and complete family. So even when it's hard, I just leave everything to God. There were still issues before—someone chatted with me about a woman who was supposedly on the ship with my husband. But there's no evidence, so I think it might just be a fabrication by someone who is criticizing. Even so, of course as a wife, you can't help but get hurt and doubt.
There are times when I feel like giving up. But when I see my children, I think that I need to be strong. I don't want them to be affected by my husband and I'm fighting. So even though it's been a while, I'm still the one who humbles myself first. Not because I'm weak, but because I choose to build our family rather than destroy it.
So here I am now, confessing. I'm tired but I'm not giving up. I'm holding on to the top and believing that maybe one day he'll change. I still love my husband even though sometimes I feel like I'm the only one fighting. My only prayer is that one day he'll learn to appreciate the effort and love I give.
