I am M32, and I met her, F36, at work—I am the manager, she is the supervisor. At first, she had a boyfriend in the US, but despite the distance, we became friends. For me, this was the beginning of a happy story. But when I found out that she had PCOS, and that she might have difficulty having children, I was afraid of being hurt in the future. Out of fear and uncertainty, I walked away. I left her, even though I loved her.
Two years passed, and despite everything, I searched for her. Ready to love again, ready to right the wrongs. But to my shock, I found out that she was already married to her boyfriend in the US. My heart was confused—I knew she was already married, but I couldn’t help myself. I still courted her, we got back together, and we were together for almost three years. We planned to live a simple, peaceful, and dream-filled life.
But it wasn't all easy. One day, he told me that he had petitioned for the US and would be flying in two weeks. I didn't stop him; I wanted him to seize the opportunity and bring his OFW mother back to Hong Kong. Our long-distance relationship began—we were apart for almost a year. I accepted it because I loved him, and I was willing to wait.
When he returned to the Philippines, we met, had drinks, and had sex. But my heart was again troubled when I saw his wife’s chats and photos on the USB. He was crying while sleeping and after waking up. I thought he would leave his wife for me, but he gradually moved away. I tried to talk to him before he left, but he didn’t. I was left alone, full of confusion and pain.
Despite everything, there was another single guy I liked at work, but I didn't choose him because I loved him. We haven't spoken for over a year, but I still love him and hope that one day we can get back together. Now, I'm having a hard time understanding my feelings—love, pain, hope, and disappointment. I don't know if I should keep waiting or just be strong for myself.
I hope, as I share this, you can feel the weight of my heart and understand the confusion of someone who loved faithfully, but was hurt because of decisions beyond their control.
