The truth is, I'm really confused right now. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and throughout our relationship, I've never had any doubts about her. I love her so much, and I feel like she's the person I'll be with for the rest of my life. But one day, out of instinct, I borrowed her phone and that's when everything I didn't expect started.
While browsing, I came across an old conversation (July 2024) on an app. It said that if you answer calls, you will earn money. But as I read, I saw that they have group chats where they help each other, giving tips on how to be more convincing on calls. They said that most of the callers are engineers and professionals. At first I thought it might be just a simple chit-chat, but as the conversation deepened, I saw that some ended up in lewd video calls.
It hurts me because I realize that it's like he's selling himself online for money. But I try to convince myself that maybe he's just doing this because my birthday is coming up and he wants to surprise me. And it's true, on my birthday, he gave me so many gifts, he bought me almost everything I wanted. So even though it hurts, I try to ignore it.
But fast forward, I still can't stop thinking about it. So one day, I picked up his phone again, and there I saw recent chats. I saw conversations that led to video calls (SOP). Based on the conversations, he was doing things that I couldn't accept as a boyfriend — like fingering in front of the camera while the person he was talking to was masturbating. I haven't seen any actual videos, but the lines in the chat are enough to hurt me deeply.
I was even more devastated when I read it while he was confined to the hospital due to dengue. He was lying next to me, weak and exhausted, and I was there, my mind in turmoil because of what I had read. I felt like I couldn't breathe, my chest tightening as I thought that while I was taking care of him, he was hiding something like this.
I couldn't help but ask her. I said, “Baby, are you kidding me?” She was surprised because I was holding her phone. She immediately cried, hugged me tightly and kept saying, “No baby, don't leave me.” It hurt to hear because I could feel her fear of losing me, but I also felt the pain of betrayal.
I left the room to catch my breath. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but I couldn't because even though I was angry, I was still worried about him. I went back inside because I didn't want to leave him in his situation. But as I looked at him, I couldn't help but think: Did he just do this for the money? Or am I missing something as a boyfriend?
I also saw in the app's withdrawal history that he stopped after my birthday (August 10, 2024). But this July 2025, he started again. What hurts is, every time he does that, he buys things for me — shoes, clothes, gadgets. That's why I'm even more confused. Because what if he's just doing that to give me everything I want? What if he's doing that because I can't provide?
Now, I've been sleepless here in the hospital for three days, wondering if I should forgive him or if I should leave him. My chest feels heavy. I love him, but he hurt me so much.
So here I am, telling my story here, hoping someone can give me advice. If you were in my situation — would you choose to forgive because you still love him? Or would you choose to leave him because he cheated on you?
