It's hard to forget someone you loved so much. I didn't expect to experience this. I'm Lily, 20 years old, and I just want to release the weight in my heart. I'm not a playgirl, I'm not used to playing games in relationships. But I admit, I made a mistake.
Before I got married, I had two boyfriends at the same time. Yes, I know it was wrong. But I never expected to fall for the same person. The situation was very complicated, and honestly, I had a hard time choosing. One of them, I loved very much, but he had to leave to work abroad. I was left here, and because of my dream of having a family, I chose to marry the other one.
I know this is wrong. I know it's not fair to my husband, because he did nothing wrong. He's kind, he loves me. But why is my heart like this? Why do I still feel the pain of losing him? Sometimes I wonder, what if he was the only one I could have stayed with? Would I be happier?
I know this is wrong. I know it's not fair to my husband, because he did nothing wrong. He's kind, he loves me. But why is my heart like this? Why do I still feel the pain of losing him? Sometimes I wonder, what if he was the only one I could have stayed with? Would I be happier?
But to every question, there is always an answer: “It’s gone. It’s over.”
Even if I try to go back to the past, I can’t do anything. I’m married. I have a husband who depends on me, who loves me truly. I realized, it’s not fair if I continue to hold on to the past while someone expects loyalty from me.
Now, I've learned to accept the truth. It's not easy to forget your ex, especially if he or she was a part of your life. But you have to choose the person you choose to be with for the rest of your life. Because in the end, it's not always about who you loved the most before. What's more important is who you're with now—the person who's ready to love you no matter what your past is.
So now, I'm trying to love the life I have. Little by little, I'm removing the "what ifs" from my mind and just thinking about the "what now." Because if you're always looking back, you can't move forward. And I don't want my marriage to be unhappy, I don't want to hurt the person I chose to be with.
So to everyone going through this: remember, it's not wrong to admit your own feelings. But you have to choose where you're going to be true—in the past or in the present. Me? I choose the present. Because that's where I'll find true love and peace.
