I have to admit, I thought for a long time about whether I should tell him this. Not because I wanted to embarrass him, but because I wanted to express what I had been thinking for a long time. Back then, I was so happy when I met him. He was sweet, a gentleman, and it seemed like he was the one for me. I never thought that something would make me wonder if I could really handle it all.
We met at a party, then became friends. We gradually became close until we became us. At first, I didn't really notice anything different. To me, he was just normal – caring, loving, and always there for me. I had no suspicion that he had a secret that I didn't know about.
At the moment when I thought we would be closer, that's when I found out. I don't know how to explain it, but at first, I didn't know what to feel. I was surprised, of course. I also didn't know what to do – should I laugh? Should I be isolated? Or should I just accept him completely?
I'm not going to lie – I was shocked. There were so many questions in my mind. “Is this normal? Is this okay? Will this affect our sex life?” I know it sounds superficial, but it's true, I've been thinking about it. Because in our culture, this kind of thing seems like a big deal. But the truth is, he didn't become a bad person because of it. He didn't become less of a man.
At first, nothing. We continued as if nothing had happened. But as time went on, I noticed that he was losing confidence. He seemed to become more self-conscious whenever we were together. It got to the point where he felt uncomfortable and I felt a little bit uncomfortable too. I didn't embarrass him, but I felt like it was becoming an obstacle to our closeness.
I loved him before. I didn't break up because of that. I'm serious – for me, a relationship is not based on something physical. But sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, there are things you really can't control. We didn't break up because he was a jerk, but because we reached a point where we no longer understood each other emotionally.
I've learned not to judge people too quickly. You don't know what they're going through. And love shouldn't be the basis for this kind of thing. It's true, it can be hurtful sometimes, but trust and respect for each other are still more important.
Now, he's my ex. I don't hate him. To be honest, I still think about our moments sometimes. But one thing is for sure – a real relationship isn't just about the body.
