My husband once came home with a man. He said that he was a friend of his and was looking for a place to stay. My husband was kind enough to offer him a place to stay in our small guest room. He also said that the man would pay ₱3,000 per month. As a wife, I believed him and had no doubts.
Five months passed, and I never expected to discover something that would change my life. It was Sunday and I was about to leave the house to go shopping. But when I noticed I didn't have my wallet, I immediately went back. As soon as I opened the door, I saw them in the living room – hugging each other, snuggling on the sofa. It was like cold water had been poured over me. I didn't know what to feel. It was like my world was collapsing. I ran out of the house crying and immediately went to my parents' house. I just told them that we had had a fight. I didn't have the courage to tell the truth at that time.
A few days later, my husband tried to get back at me. He apologized and said he just made a mistake. But honestly, I was so disgusted by what he did. I don't know if it was because of his infidelity or because of the man he chose to have an affair with. The pain was so great. I couldn't look him in the eye anymore. So that's when I confessed the truth to my parents – what I saw right in our living room.
My parents said I should divorce him. I want to do that too, but it's not easy. There's still a part of me that feels sad, that regrets. There are also questions in my mind: Am I lacking? Is there something wrong with me? But as time goes on, I realize, not everything is my fault. There are really things that we can't control. And if I choose to get hurt every day rather than heal and start over, I might just neglect myself even more.
So now, I'm slowly accepting everything. I may not be able to make a decision right away, but I know the day will come when I can. Healing is not easy, but it is possible. For me, it's more important to choose peace, even if it hurts at first. I hope that one day, I will learn to forgive – not only him, but also myself.
