I don't know if this is normal for all couples... but for us, it seems like I'm the one always apologizing. Yes, I love my husband. I'm not saying this to discredit him or to complain. I just want to let out what's inside me. Because no matter how much I avoid it, I can't help but ask myself: “Is it always the man who has to be humble?”
Whenever we have a fight, I'm the one who comes first. Sometimes, it's just something simple — a scheduling conflict, a misunderstanding over text, or sometimes because we're both just tired. But even if he's the one who's overreacting, I'm still the first to say, “Sorry, babe. I just want to fix this.” And you know what hurts? Sometimes he doesn't even notice that he's the one who's really at fault.
I'm not saying I'm the perfect partner. I know I have my flaws, and I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong. But what about those times when I'm the only one giving the favor, the only one extending a hand? It doesn't seem fair. It seems like I'm always the one making the effort.
Sometimes I wonder, am I being too nice? Or maybe he's just used to me being the first to adjust? I understand that not everyone is used to apologizing, and maybe he is. But sometimes I also want to feel that my feelings are worth it. That when I get hurt, someone is crawling around to fix it — not always me.
I sometimes envy the men their wives talk to after a fight. Even a simple hug, or a, “I'm sorry too, babe. I was just annoyed earlier.” It must be nice to hear that. Not because I want him to always be the one to apologize, but because I also want to feel that my feelings matter.
I don't blame him. I love him — so much. But it also gets tiring to be the one who always comes first. It's not that the love is gone, but it can be demoralizing sometimes. I just wish we could be equals. When I'm the one who's being flattered sometimes. Even if it's simple, as long as it comes from the heart.
To be honest, it's not about pride — it's about effort. If there's a mistake, whoever made it — man or woman — hopefully there's a willingness to fix it and admit it. Because in a relationship, you're both in love, and you both have to work to make it work.
I just want to say, saying sorry doesn't make you less of a man — but that doesn't mean it's always just us. It must be nice to hear sometimes, “I'm sorry. Thank you for not letting me down.” Because in truth, behind every man who always humbles himself, there is a heart that hopes to feel the same effort.
I'm not asking for a grand gesture. I just want a little tenderness, a little recognition for my effort. Because I love him. I still want us until the end — but hopefully, in the days to come, it won't always be me.
