The most painful part of my life was when I found out my partner's secret after I gave birth. I never thought this would happen to me. Our relationship lasted almost three years, but in reality, all he gave me was trials and deceptions.
While I was six months pregnant, I discovered that he was dating someone else. At first, I ignored it because I thought maybe he was just tired from work. He worked at a hotel and that's where he met his girlfriend. There were times when I noticed women commenting on his posts, but I just thought that maybe he was just a friend or maybe he was just concern. I didn't really think there was any malice.
But all my doubts, were confirmed after I gave birth. He left his cellphone behind and there I found all the evidence. As I read their messages, my hand was shaking in pain. I saw that the woman who was commenting was actually the he was having an affair. There were sweet posts, My Day was hidden from me, and there were even pictures of them together with the background music “Always Be My Baby.” I felt like I was falling apart from everything I saw.
When I caught him, he suddenly grabbed his phone from my hand. But it was too late. I had already seen all his secrets. What hurt was that he didn't even think about my situation, which was that I had just given birth, and our child, which he should have understood. I also found out that they had been in a relationship for almost 3 months when I got pregnant. When he comes home late, when he doesn't eat what I prepare, when I can't call him because I've restricted his account—it's all because he's doing something else.
So many questions came to my mind: Why did he do this to us? Didn't he think about his child? Didn't I love and trust him enough? What's more painful is that even though I found out, I still chose to fix our family because I believed he might change. But he just kept repeating it. He chose to fight for his woman rather than for us and his child.
It got to the point where he left us. He took all his belongings with him, as if we were worthless. His wife didn't accept him either and the woman even apologized to me. He said he didn't want what was happening to me to happen. He ended their relationship, but my partner, still tried to contact him and pressured him to come back. He even said that he loved the woman very much and was willing to do anything for her. That's when I felt that he fought for his wife more than his family.
Out of shame, he resigned from his job and went home to his family. He came back and tried to fix our relationship according to my family's wishes. I agreed even though it was painful, because I still hoped that he might change. But he didn't. I found out again that he was in a relationship with someone else—a woman who also had a child. What was even more painful, he denounced me in front of others, saying that we had been separated for a long time even though it wasn't true.
That's when I realized that no matter how many times I fought for him, he couldn't fight for us. He chose the wrong person and the wrong decision. It hurts so much, because I fought for the person who never fought for us.
Since then, I have blocked him and his family. I don't want them to suffer anymore and I don't want to be hurt again. I just chose to build myself up and be strong for my son. It's hard, it hurts, but I know that in the end, I can get up.
What I learned from this: no matter how much you love someone, if they don't respect and care, nothing will happen. And sometimes, even if you want to fight for them, you have to let them go—especially if you're the only one fighting.
