It's hard to vent my anger, but I hope you understand me. I'm 35 years old, a government employee, and I have a 35 years old husband who is an OFW. He's a good person—good provider, loyal, and a good husband in many ways. But ever since we got together, we've only had one problem: his friends.
At first, I thought it was normal for him to go out with his friends once in a while. But as time went on, it became more frequent, it became an issue, and until now that we've been married for 12 years, we've only been fighting about our friends. No matter what I ask, even if I say no, he'll still go to drinks with them. I feel like his friends are more of a priority than me and our child.
In Dec 2023, he came home to the Philippines for a 2 week vacation. I thought it would be our time as a family. But almost every night, he was with his friends just to drink. It hurts to think that he came home for them, not for us. During those two weeks, we had almost no family time, because friends always came first.
I felt even more bad about our last fight. He told me that I was a “very useless wife” because I couldn't go with him on his trip. My answer to him was, in that case, he should just find a wife who can go with him. I'm not a drinker, I prefer home and work. That's why I really don't like his friends, because whenever he's with them, I look like the villain.
What's even more painful is that before he went abroad, my husband had an accident. In his time of need, not one of his friends visited or showed any concern. But when it came to fun and drinking, they were always there. That's when I thought, why was it that in sadness and problems I was there, but in joy and comfort, they were with him?
So now, I'm confused. Am I right in feeling this way or am I just being selfish? Is the jealousy and hurt I feel valid, or am I the only one at fault? I love my husband, but I feel like we're no longer his priority as a family. I hope someone can give me some advice, because I don't know how much longer I can handle this situation.
