My life right now is like a rollercoaster of emotions. I am Magnus, 34 years old, an OFW in Japan. In 2020, I met Princess, 21 years old, who is a housekeeper in the Philippines. I chatted with her for a long time until she replied. That's when the daily phone calls and video calls began. Over time, I fell in love with her until we became friends.
We tried to maintain a long-distance relationship for almost two years. I loved her very much and did everything I could to make things right. But when she got stressed at work, she went back to Manila and lived with her siblings. Later, she found work again as a housekeeper, even though I said I could send her enough money. This is where I noticed a gradual change.
At her new job, she met a man—their boss's son, aged 25 and up. That's when his calls started to become less frequent. When I called, sometimes he would suddenly go offline. I was quiet but my screaming was loud. Until I caught their chats and screenshots. He didn't immediately admit it, but when I showed him the evidence, he apologized.
I forgave him because I loved him. In 2023, we finally met. I thought things would go back to the way they were, but I didn't feel his love. I kissed him as my boyfriend, but he got angry and even reported me to his boss. Because of that, we broke up completely. I went back to Japan, but I didn't let him go. I tried talking to him again and we got back into a relationship, but it also fell through. Sometimes he sends me an allowance, even if it's small, but I know he's not that rich and it's not easy to find money.
Now, things are different. I have a new girlfriend here in Japan. She is kind, loving, and almost perfect to be my wife. She always supports me and I see in her what I am looking for in a life partner. But despite everything, I can't deny that I still love my ex. We still talk online from time to time, and that's when all the memories come flooding back.
I'm confused right now. In front of me is a woman who is ready to settle down and start a family, but in my heart is still someone who has hurt me for a long time. I don't know which one to choose—the sure love now or the past I still can't forget.
So now, I'm writing to ask for advice. What should I do? Should I follow my heart that is still tied to my ex? Or should I choose someone who is truly here for me and ready to get married and start a family?
The truth is, I'm ready to get married. But I don't know if it's right to walk into a new life if I still have feelings tied to the past.
