I had a boyfriend before I went abroad. I was just a waitress at a coffee shop, and my dream was simple — to have a happy family and be with the person I loved. We had a happy beginning, but there were also days when we argued almost every day. He was very jealous and was rightly suspicious when I didn't answer his calls. I understand that because we live in different times, but sometimes it's tiring. Even so, I felt that he loved me, and I loved him too. Ever since then, I had been thinking that he would be the one I would marry.
Until the time came when we lost communication. I had no news from him. While I was on my way back to the Philippines, I suddenly called him. I was shocked to find out he had gone abroad as well. I told him, “You didn't wait for me.” We even cried on the phone. In my heart, I knew that there might be no more hope for us to meet again.
A few years later, someone told me that he was married and had children. I even talked to his ex-girlfriend (not his wife), and that's when I learned that he had been in prison. I didn't ask why, but the truth is, I still felt hurt by what I heard. Part of me felt sad for him, even though we hadn't been together for a long time.
Now, I have a husband too. My life is good — I have a family, a job, and I am happy despite everything I have been through. But I must admit, sometimes I still think about him. There are nights when I wonder what he looks like now, what his life is like, and if he is happy.
So now, I have a question for myself: Is it right for me to visit him? Not to disrupt his life, but just to check in. To know if he's okay, to hear his voice again, even for a moment. I don't know if it's closure or just plain worry. But it's clear to me — I love my husband, and I don't want to ruin the life I have now. Maybe, I just want to make sure he's okay… even for the last time.
