Our married life is almost perfect. I am 30, a soldier, and my wife is 29, an English and Science teacher. She is an Ilocana who is very beautiful, head-turner, classy, and conservative. I am her first in everything — even our first kiss happened on our honeymoon. She is very kind and attentive. My food is always fresh, not fast food. Even my uniform, she does not let me machine wash — it is always handwashed and ironed. She dresses well, especially in public. I love her very much… but something is missing.
May My husband has a low sex drive. He doesn't reject me, but he's simple in bed. No adventure, no BJ, no food, and I can't force him. I feel embarrassed because I feel intimidated by him. I, on the other hand, am clingy and have a strong desire. And because of that, I made the biggest mistake of my life: nangaliwa ako.
I met the girl who was a sales clerk near work. She knew I was married, she even saw my ring. But it still happened. And that's where I found the thing I couldn't get from my husband. But since then, I can't look my husband in the eye. I've been consumed by guilt for a month. I can't forgive myself.
I want to confess. But that might be the end of us. Back then, we just had a fight and I said something stupid in the chat, he left me immediately and I had a hard time regaining his trust. How could it be now that my sin is even more serious? But if I keep quiet, it feels like I'm slowly dying of conscience.
I don't know what to do. Should I confess and face his anger, even if he might cut me out of his life completely? Or should I hide it while my own guilt eats away at me every day?
