Being a new mom is harder than most people think. I'm 25, and a first-time mom, with my partner who's 27. We're both excited about this new phase of our lives, but it's just the two of us for the first two weeks—and that's when the real challenge begins.
Two weeks after we brought the baby home, my partner decided to go back to the provinces for a 4-day family reunion. He said, “Just a quick break, I’ll give updates every hour.” But in reality, most of the chat I see is just “delivered.” He doesn’t care about how I’m coping with the night, the feedings, the burping, and the quick 3AM bath while the baby is asleep.
I can't explain the feeling—every night without him, I feel like I'm the only mom in the world. I feel like a single parent even though he's there in my mind. The simple tasks that we used to do together, now depend solely on me. Every kiss with the baby, every sleep, every tiredness, I feel alone.
When he returned, he only had a keychain with him. I can't explain the disappointment. I didn't need the pasalubong—I just needed the help, the presence, the involvement. I told him I wanted alternate night shifts and no out-of-town trips while the baby was under three months old, unless we were going together.
If he can't do that, I plan on moving in with my sister for a while to get some rest and have a support system. I also need to make sure I have updates on the baby while he's away. I don't hate being his dad... I hate being alone.
I don't know if what I'm feeling is valid. I don't know if I'm being selfish or if it's just natural as a mother to rely on a partner at this stage. But the truth is, I'm so tired—emotionally and physically. I hope he understands that taking care of a newborn baby is no joke, and it's not just about material things but also about time and presence.
Maybe, this is my way of confessing: Yes, I'm alone right now, and yes, I'm struggling a lot. But it's not weakness. It's the truth. And honestly, I just need help, understanding, and a little presence.
