My five-year relationship with AJ (28/M) was full of sacrifice. We started out as a couple for two years and then as a LIP for three years. I was a public employee, he was a driver at the time. I supported him even when he didn't have money—I paid for dates, clothes, shoes, and even their house rent. Because of my help, he was able to graduate from TESDA and work for big companies as a mechanic.
The biggest challenge came when his father got sick with lung disease and lost his job. I offered to let them live in my small apartment and I paid the hospital bills. When his father got better, his mother got sick and needed dialysis. He was willing to sell the house and motorbike to help her, but by the grace of God, his mother also got better. Unfortunately, I got sick—diagnosed with depression—and she left me.
But despite all this, I was the one who got sick—diagnosed with depression. During my illness, he left me. It got to the point where I even had his parents evicted from my apartment because they were also one of the triggers for my illness. That same month, he was offered a job in Singapore. My mom and I were left at home while he took care of his papers. I took a leave from work to make sure that everything he needed was complete, from documents to CV. My savings were also depleted, so we were forced to sell our motorbike, worth ₱60,000, but he only gave me ₱14,000. I even said, if it wasn't enough, to sell my apartment too, but my mom hid the title.
He was able to go abroad, but my illness got worse. He had only been in Singapore for two weeks when he left me. That's when I felt like I was being used—I was his only resource in times of need. I cried for months and at the point where I wanted to give up, I thought about my family. Despite the depression, my siblings and family were there to support me. I chose to ignore him and accept that our relationship was over.
But in January, I decided to go back to my dream job and get my life back on track. Little by little, my body and mind healed. On July 19, I unblocked him. He texted and called me, said he missed me, that he still loved me, and that he was talking to a woman in Singapore. But he said he remembered me being there when he wasn't. I chose to be honest with myself—I told him that I had a new boyfriend, Art, a fellow government employee. He had already introduced me to his family and relatives even though we had only been dating for a few weeks. Despite the newness of the relationship, he was ready to ask for my hand in marriage.
In this confession, I want to say that no matter how deep the pain and sacrifice I had, I learned to rise up. I learned to love myself and recognize the person who is truly ready to be with me in a bright future. By the grace of God, I have found the love that has given hope and joy to my life—a love that is not just in words, but in deeds and respect.
