I'm a grade 12 student at a university here in Manila. I'm quiet, don't like to get involved in trouble, and I prefer to focus on my studies. But in the past few months, there's one person who's always messing with my system—not out of anger or annoyance, but out of excitement.
This is Sir Javier, my teacher in Contemporary Arts. I first saw him on the first day of class, and I admit—I didn't immediately feel a thrill. But as time went on, I noticed that he was different. He teaches well, always has substance, and knows how to listen to students. He has a way of explaining that even when the topic is difficult, you understand. And most of all, he has an aura that you won't forget.
At first, I thought it was just simple admiration—like being a fan of an idol. But as time went on, I started to feel different. When he entered the class, my cheeks suddenly felt hot. When he asked a question, I felt nervous as if there was a quiz in my heart.
There are still times when I catch him looking at me. I don't know if it's because he's calling me to the recitation or if he just really looks at me. But every time our eyes meet, it's as if time stops. And that's when I get even more confused—maybe I'm just imagining it, maybe it doesn't really mean anything.
I know for myself that there are things that shouldn't be taken lightly. He's a teacher, I'm a student. There are rules, there are expectations, and most of all, there are people around who can judge. I don't want it to come to the point where it becomes an issue.
So even though I want to see and hear him, I still try to keep my feelings at a safe level. I don't want to fall completely, but I have to admit—it's not easy. I see him almost every day, and with each passing day, my thrill seems to deepen.
They say it's normal to have a crush on a teacher, especially if they're kind, smart, and care about the student. It's not bad if it's just admiration. So maybe this is what I'll plant in my mind: Just for the thrill.
I will just use him as an inspiration to do better in my studies. If he can make such an impact on me, maybe I can also make an impact in my own life through hard work. There is a right time for everything, and maybe, now is not the time for this.
I still get a thrill every time I see him. That won't go away anytime soon. But I'm learning to handle my own feelings. I know that my dream is more important than any thrill that could fade away.
For now, I'll keep my feelings a secret. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you know where the limits are. And in the end, even though he's just a crush, I'm still grateful to Sir Javier—because he's the reason why I'm more motivated to go to school and learn every day.
