It's hard being a housewife with a small business. Yes, I have someone at home—my husband—but I feel like I'm the only one who carries everything. I pay the bills, food, and debts. Even the money we borrowed from his mother, I still pay back little by little. The pain is, no matter what I do, it always seems like I'm the only one with the strategy.
My husband used to work. He used to give his salary, but it wasn't really enough. So even though he had a job, I was still the one who had to shoulder other expenses. Now, he doesn't work regularly anymore. So I said, let him take care of our small business so that he could at least learn to work hard and bring in his own money, instead of always relying on his family.
But I can't deny it, I get tired. Especially when my patience runs out. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one who has a strategy for everything. It gets to the point where I'm so annoyed, I tell him: “If you hadn't borrowed from your mother, we wouldn't have any problems. It's always just me, you're useless.” I know it hurts to hear, but that's what comes out when I'm full.
What's more surprising, he doesn't fight back. Even though my words hurt, he just stays quiet. I know he's hurting but he doesn't say anything. He's a kind person, but sometimes I wonder, is being kind enough if I'm always the one carrying the burden? It even got to the point where I thought maybe it would be better if I divorced him. But when I thought about it, I realized that it was selfish. We're married, so we should work together.
So now, I'm forcing him to teach him. I want him to see how hard it is to make money, how difficult it is to run a business and budget for a home. I hope that through this, he will realize that I'm not a robot who can do everything. I also want him to feel the weight, so that one day he can be more strategic and not just rely on me.
Every day, our expenses are around ₱20,000 to ₱25,000 per month. Almost everything comes from me. I don't know how long I can handle it, but I hope he changes and sees the hardship I'm going through.
Here's the truth: I love him, but I'm tired. I hope one day, he changes and sees the value of being a partner. I don't need a perfect husband, what I need is someone who knows how to work hard, knows how to be disciplined in earning money, and knows how to appreciate my hard work.
