The truth is, I never thought this would happen to me. I was 24 years old at the time, recently separated from my long-time partner. I was going through so much pain that I thought it might be better if I met someone new — not to find a replacement right away, but just to have fun and talk to other people. I'm single, so there's nothing wrong with that... right?
One day, I suddenly thought of a FB friend. I've had a crush on her for a long time — I've always noticed her posts, her stories, and her simple aura that makes it seem like she's easy to talk to. Even then, I've been attracted to her. So I said to myself, "Why don't I try it?" I didn't hesitate anymore, I made the first move right away. That's just how I am — if I want something, I'll make a way. We're the same age, have a stable job, professional, brunette, simple but beautiful even without make-up. Honestly, she seems like my ideal type.
After a few days of constant chatting, we decided to meet up to see if we really got along. We didn't go to an expensive restaurant or a social place. We just had a late night coffee date using camping chairs next to my car. The surroundings were quiet, the air was cool, and it was just enough to have a good conversation. The conversation was light, there were no awkward moments, and I felt like we became even more interested in each other. We had the same outlook on life, so in my mind, “I want to pursue her… she's really girlfriend material.”
A few days passed, and he himself suggested we meet again. It was Saturday, we were both off, so we met after he had gone for a walk with friends. It was a bit late, so we decided to have another coffee date. After the conversation, I was about to drop him off, but before I started the car, I jokingly brought my face closer and said, “Next time when we’re free, huh?” I thought he would just laugh, but his answer was, “Why didn’t you continue?” That’s when I was surprised. He suddenly grabbed my face and kissed me. Of course, I kissed back — I couldn’t help it because the moment was there.
Our kiss was short because the car wasn't tinted. I still wanted to be a gentleman so I said, “Maybe your mommy is looking for you.” But he replied, “It's okay. I'll take care of it. Take me wherever you want.” And that's it… you know what happened next. The next morning, while we were cuddling, all he said was assurances and future plans for us. Sweet, so much. But deep down, something was eating at my mind: “What if he's done this to someone else?” or “What if when we're together, he meets someone better than me, and what happened to someone else happens to me?”
I don't know if I'm wrong for thinking that way, but I can't help it. Honestly, I don't want to judge him because I don't have any evidence. But maybe because of my insecurities and my still-fresh heartbreak, I gradually became cold. I lost interest even though he wasn't doing anything wrong. Until it came to the point where we decided to just stop.
To this day, I still think about the whole incident. I know I was flawed. Maybe if I had trusted more, our ending would have been different. But if you were in my situation then… what would you think? Would you trust immediately, or would you be like me, full of questions and doubts?
