I am 40 years old, and I have a LIP (Live-In Partner) who is 30 years old. Within our relationship, I can say we are okay. He is kind, responsible, and easy to get along with. He has a son who is 5 years old, whose mother left him when he was 3 years old.
To be honest, I didn't pay much attention to it at first. I thought, it's normal for him to love his son—it's natural, right? But my feelings changed one day, I was hit with a question that I couldn't help but ask:
“What if your child's mother suddenly comes back and takes him?”
I know, based on the law, when the parents are not married, automatically the mother has legal rights to the child, especially if the child is still a minor. I just wanted to hear her perspective, but I was surprised by her answer. She said:
“My son and I were both dead before he got the child.”
He didn't say this jokingly. He repeatedly said that he was ready to fight to the death. Even though I explained that the mother has legal rights, he didn't change his stance.
That's where I got disappointed. I thought: Why is that? What role do I have in his life if all his fights are just for his son? I asked him: “What about me? What is my place in your life?” But I didn't get a clear answer.
Since then, I couldn't help but overthink. I thought, maybe he just wants me to be his son's nanny. Because think about it, why is it that his son is like life and death to him, but when it comes to me, he hasn't said how he's going to fight for me?
My worries intensified when one day, the child's mother messaged and threatened to take the child. That's when I thought: If that time comes, where will I be? Am I a match for him as a partner? Or is there really nothing?
I don't know if I'm the only one wrong here. Is it normal for me to think this? Or is this a sign that maybe I'm not a priority in his life? I love him, but I'm scared of the thought that maybe I'm not important in his plan—maybe his world is just his child.
