This is my confession. It's hard to let it out but I have to because the weight I'm carrying is too much. I can't hide it anymore, especially since he doesn't seem to care no matter how many times I've been hurt.
Repeated betrayal. Not just once, not just twice, but many times that he went astray. The most painful thing—when he even drove the woman home. Something almost happened to them on the way because of the excessive flirting. It took him a long time to get home, and when I asked, his only answer was: “He said he went astray.” It hurt to hear because I knew the truth.
Not only that. Every morning, he even brings breakfast for the girl. He even makes the coffee himself. They always eat lunch together, just the two of them. And when I confronted him, he replied: “That’s normal when you’re friends.” Where did that become normal? If it’s true that they’re just friends, why do you have to hide it and keep it a secret?
His reason for cheating: he said he couldn't avoid temptation. It's as if he's accepted that it's normal to cheat if he gets the chance. He even creates multiple fake accounts to hide his women from me. This isn't just a simple sin—it's a humiliation and deception that I've been accepting over and over again because I hope he'll change.
But what did I get back? No sleep, no appetite, almost going crazy from crying. Every day is hard because I think about where I failed, why he did all this to me. Then the people around us, instead of telling him off, advised me to “just move on.” It's easy to say, but how can I just do that when our lives and our children's lives are at stake?
And here's the worst of all: He doesn't even care about his son. He doesn't even ask how the child is. He has no plans for our son's future, but he has many plans for his game and for his girls. After all, he can make things happen for them, but why can't he do it for his own son?
So here I am now, confessing and venting my anger. Maybe you're right—maybe we shouldn't force it, maybe I shouldn't forgive it either. Because as long as the people around him continue to baby him, as long as he's always being defended and picked on, he'll never learn what's right and wrong.
This is the last one. I'm tired of forgiving. I'm tired of turning a blind eye. And most of all, I don't want to make my son feel that feminism and neglect are normal. Because a true father—not just in words, but in deeds.
