My story is about my current relationship. I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is 32 years old. We have been together for over a year and five months, and for eight months we have been living-in his aunt's townhouse. We live in a small room on the second floor, and since then I have been the one who pays most of the expenses.
I pay for electricity (₱1,500 per month), Wi-Fi (₱1,000 per month), as well as almost all of the grocery every week, sometimes reaching ₱2,000 – ₱3,000. Yes, sometimes his aunt helps with rice and dishes, but in reality, I'm the one who carries most of it. Since June, he hasn't had a stable job and has been doing freelance work. So whenever we go out, I'm always the one who pays for food, travel, and even our basic needs.
Last night, our anniversary. I came from closing shift and was so tired. All I wanted was a hug and a cuddle because I didn't have the energy for anything else. But he insisted and begged for "just a moment." In the end, I agreed even though I didn't want to. The painful thing was, it didn't even last 8 minutes, he was done. He immediately took his phone and didn't even look at me to see if I was okay. That's when I got angry and hurt, so I slapped him on the arm. Not because I wanted to hurt him, but because of frustration and the feeling that he didn't understand me.
The next day, we had a big fight. He said that I hit him and hurled hurtful words at me like, “You’re just living at my aunt’s house, you’re so mean.” He added that if I didn’t like our setup, I’d just move out. It hurt so much to hear because I knew that I was the one who was spending most of our money and supporting us. All told, I was spending more than ₱8,000 – ₱10,000 per month just to get by.
Now, I'm here at work but I don't know if I'll go home or not. I want to go home because all my things are there and I still love him. But at the same time, I feel like I'm the one always sacrificing and always spending money for this relationship. He, on the other hand, is easy to to get angry, and then I'm the one who's made to look bad.
I love him, but I'm getting tired. I don't know if I love him enough to continue this, especially if I'm the only one fighting and he's not doing anything to fix our situation. The hard thing is when you love someone, you want to understand them, but when you're the one paying the price over and over again, you're the one making the effort, and you're the one getting hurt, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself: is it still worth it?
