Hi, I'm Alice. I've been wanting to confess something for a while: my boss seems to have a crush on me. I first noticed it when he suddenly put flowers on my desk. I thought it was just a friendly gesture. But it wasn't just that—chocolate after chocolate, a birthday present, and one night he invited me to dinner outside the office.
I don't know what to feel first: gratitude that someone cares about me, or nervous because he might have deeper intentions. I think every day about how I should handle this without hurting his feelings, my job, and my relationship with my husband.
I'm afraid of getting fired if I can't politely decline these gifts. But I'm even more afraid of the idea that I'm hiding something from my husband. I feel like my heart is pounding every time I think about how to talk to him honestly and calmly.
So I'm thinking of making a step-by-step plan:
Choose the right time. Don't do it at night after work when we're tired. Find a time when we can both relax, maybe in the morning while having coffee or on the weekend at home.
Start by asking permission to open up. “Love, I want to share something with you. I just don't want to hide anything.”
Describe what happened simply and to the point. No added emotion—“He gives me flowers, chocolates, and sometimes invites me to dinner. I don’t know how to say what I don’t like yet.”
Express my true feelings. “I don't want anything from him except for him being my boss. I just want to be transparent with you.”
Listen to her reaction. Be prepared for her question or upset. I will make it seem like I understand her possible feelings.
Once we're talking, I'll start asking what he thinks is the right thing to do. He might want to work with me on how to handily reject my boss, or whether it's necessary to seek HR help if the uncomfortable behavior continues.
This strategy helps me not just talk about the problem, but have a plan with my husband to resolve it. It's also important that in the middle of the conversation, I can show that I value the trust and respect we have for each other.
Ultimately, I believe in the power of open communication. As hard as it is to confess that my boss likes someone, it's even harder when I'm burdened with guilt and secrets. So here's my confession—even if my husband takes it slow, I'd rather start with truth and courage, for my job, for our relationship, and for my peace of mind.
